Bob's Bad Day with a Moron

In Zim's new ship flying in space.

Zim: It sure was nice of the Tallest to give me my own ship!

Zim waves his hand over the controls, but nothing happens. He does this repeatedly.

Zim: And they tell me if I prove myself as a fleet commander they'll give me my tanks and my own battle cruiser. Hey, why are these controls locked anyway?

Bob is tied to the back of Zim's chair and has duct tape over his mouth. He tries to speak. He gets one of his arms free and points to the window. A sun is visible in it. He points to the window, while sweating. The ship flies closer and closer towards the sun.

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Bob finally panicks and uses his spider legs to break out of the restraints. He drops to the ground and pulls at the duct tape. He groans as he manages to tear it off.

Zim: Eh?

He looks back at Bob.

Zim: Who are you?

Bob: We don't have time! Look!

Bob points to the window.

Zim: Oooh! Bright! Wait...

Bob: It's the sun and we're on a one way course to it! We gotta get out of here!

Bob waves his arms around frantically. Zim paused for a moment a little confused on what was going on.

Zim: So the ship that the Tallest gave me that has locked controls is headed to the sun?

Bob: Yes yes! The Tallest lied just to get rid of you! Okay, there I said it!

Bob covered his eyes in shame. Zim looked paused the whole time.

Zim: I got to get out of here! The Tallest don't want their number one invader all burny!

Zim quickly jumped off his chair and headed to the escape hatch. Bob uncovered one eye as Zim ran right past him. He then proceeded to follow after him.

Bob: They're right about you when they say your a moron.

Zim activated the bubble over his head as he charges at the door and extends his arm for the handle.

Bob: W-wait! Don't leave me!

Bob activates his bubble that envelopes his head as well. Zim opens the escape hatch right when Bob leaps over and grabs his foot. The vacuum of space forces them out. Zim then activates his jets inside his pak and starts flying away from the ship.

Zim: I should find a place to land so I could contact GIR to bring the voot cruiser.

Zim looks around in space and notices Mercury.

Zim: THERE!

He starts speeding towards the planet. Cut to the planet's surface. Zim lands.

Zim: That was easy!

The camera lowers to Zim's right leg where Bob is hanging on, sweating.

Bob: That was nuts!

Zim: Eh?

Zim looks down at his foot at Bob.

Zim: You! How dare you hold on to the mighty foot of ZIM? You are unworthy!

Bob: I just saved your unworthy life Zim!

Bob lets go and stands up.

Zim: Wow that's sad! Your so miniscule in size. No wonder why the Tallest wanted to get rid of you in that ship.

Bob: Your so confused...

Bob shakes his head sadly. Zim's communicator extends from his pak.

Zim: GIR? Can you hear me? SPEAK TO ZIM!

Cut to GIR who is at Hobo 13 in the voot cruiser. He is playing with a piggy toy. His antennae turns into a satellite and projects Zim's transmission in front of him.

GIR: Look who decided to finally call after all these years!

Zim: Quit messing around GIR! I've only been gone a few hours! Just come and get me. I'm on planet Mercury.

GIR stares at him blankly.

Zim: It's in the Milky Way Galaxy.

GIR continues to stare.

Zim: Near the Earth's sun.

GIR: Oooh yeeah... I see that on raisin boxes!

Zim: Just use your guidance chip to find me.

GIR: Okay dokey!

Cut back to Zim who put the communicator back into his pak.

Zim: I'll just wait here...

Bob: We're gonna melt aren't we?

Zim: Whaat? Nooo!

The camera moves to the large sun as solar flares burst from it. The words 'Four hours later...' appear in a black background.

Zim and Bob are behind the 'Butt On Mercury' structure in the shade with their mouths agape and panting.

Zim: So hot...

Bob: We are going to die as fried chungis...

Zim: What could be taking GIR so long?

The voot cruiser finally comes into sight, it looks slightly beaten and dented. It flies over them and lands on top of the butt structure. Zim looks over behind him.

Zim: Finally...

The voot cruiser starts tilting backward because of the unbalanced butt-shaped structure. It rolls towards them. Zim jumps out of the way but Bob is unaware. It crashes on top of him. Underneath though he is too small to be crushed. He looks up at the underside of it, scared and quickly crawls out and runs over to Zim who is staring at the voot cruiser. Bob finally looks over and the ship opens up showing GIR looking exhausted.

Zim: You could have manuevered away from the asteroid belt, GIR.

GIR stares for a long time then falls backwards and sleeps. Zim groans as he gets inside the voot cruiser. Bob jumps inside. The windshield closes and the ship immediately takes off towards Earth. Cut to Zim's house, the roof opens and the ship lands inside. Zim sighs as the windshield opens up.

Zim: Home sweet home! Computer take the cruiser to the repair bay.

The platform lowers towards the house in the living room as it makes it's way to that destination. Zim grabs GIR by the neck and hurls him at the couch. He then jumps out of the cruiser and Bob follows suit.

Zim: Another day of COMPLETE FAILURE AT ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING(echo)! Why do I get that alot?

Bob: Um...

Zim looks down at Bob who is looking down and twiddling his fingers.

Bob: So I guess we're both unaccepted in Irken society?

Zim: Eh?

Bob: They tried to get rid of me because I won alot of monies when I betted on you... and sort of got overly excited.

Zim: I don't know what your talking about.

Bob: Of course you don't. When you were on Hobo 13 and all. The Tallest and everybody placed bets on you.

Zim: Oooh really! About me passing?

Bob: No not really... but I did!

Zim: You? A tiny irken that could serve as a table-headed service drone? You certainly could never pass for an invader.

Zim looms over him. Bob looks up at him with those shiny bug eyes of his.

Bob: Yeah I know. But listen...

Zim: Lies! You speak lies! The Tallest would never! Why would any of you make bets? What is your occupation?

Bob: Well um... ehem... which question did you want me to answer?

Zim lifts a foot over Bob. Bob looks fearful. Zim places his foot on his head and adds pressure. Bob goes into the shape he was in when he had a table on his head.

Zim: Aha! (he takes his foot off) A table-headed service drone! I knew it! Why are you following me?

Bob: Maybe I should go...and change my name, where I live... do you have an extra ship somewhere?

Zim: Why do you follow ZIM!?

Bob: What else should I do? Besides we shouldn't even be alive! Or I shouldn't be at least.

Bob's eyes start to water.

Zim: Ah... come on. Don't gimme that! Gah... eyes resembling (dramatic effect)alien bunnies!

Zim turns away.

Zim: I guess you could be of some use.

Bob: You mean I could stay?

Zim glances over at Bob, googly eyed and with a miserable face.

Zim: For now... what is your name anyway?

Bob: Um... Bob.

Zim: Okay Bob. I'll be getting something from the lab. You just stay right here.

Zim walks away.

Bob: Wow what a nice guy. Why does everyone say he's a bad defect again?

Zim (voice from below in the lab): I'M INVINCIBLE! I AM ZIM!

Bob: Oh yeah... (antenna's lower) he's been known to kill off other invaders...

GIR wakes up and looks over at Bob. Bob ignores him.

GIR: Hey lightbulb head! Your funny looking!

Bob: And on Hobo 13 he made quick work with his own team...

GIR: You look like a little baby! I like babies y'know!

Bob: And he's also responsible for the downfall of Impending Doom 1... Maybe this place isn't so safe after all.

Bob shudders and looks around for someplace to run.

Bob: I got to get out of here! I'm with a destructive maniac!

Bob turns to run but pauses as he hears Zim.

Zim (voice): I'm baack!

Bob turns around to see Zim holding a familiar small table.

Zim: I was planning on riding you around to get me to places.

Bob looks temporarely stunned.

Bob: R-ride you? I think I could just borrow your ship. Go hide out on Irk maybe then...

Zim drops the table looking stunned. He walks over and leans face to face at Bob, glaring.

Zim: Never will I let anyone like you use my ship.

Bob laughs nervously and sweats.

Bob: I could just bring it back by autopilot maybe?

Zim: I don't completly trust you soldier. Are we going to have problems?

Bob: Um... no sir! But honestly Zim...

Zim: That's Invader Zim to you, you minuscle irken.

Bob rolls his eyes.

Bob: My apologies, FOOD SERVICE DRONE ZIM!

Zim's left eye began twitching. Bob slapped his mouth shut.

Bob: Heh heh... I think I've said too much...

Cut to Bob running and screaming into the kitchen with Zim chasing after him.

Zim: Come back here you tiny... tiny thing!

Cut to the lab. Bob still running and screaming and Zim still pursuing.

Zim: You run like a guiNEA PIIIG!

Guinea pig squeals are heard for no reason at all. Bob looks over at a small open pipe under a large computer counsole, he quickly runs inside. Zim leans over to look into it. He tries stuffing his head in but with no prevail.

Bob: Your insane! I just want to get out of here!

Zim: Your just going to steal my ship and leave me shipless you Irken fugitive!

Zim steps back and takes out a spider leg. He uses it to pick inside the pipe. Bob screams and backs away from it, he gets cornered as the pipe shrinks. The spider leg then retracts out of the pipe and there is complete silence.

GIR (voice): Master whatcha doin'?

Zim (voice): Shh shh shh! I'm trying to be all sneaky... wait. CURSE YOU GIR! You ruined my element of surprise!

GIR (voice): Eeeheeheehee! Silly master, that's not how you catch a baby! You do it like this!

Zim(voice): But he's not a...

GIR's face comes into view from inside the pipe.

GIR: Come on baby, come on, come on out!

GIR goes on more and more with the encouragment and Bob slowly gets closer.

GIR: Gotcha!

GIR reaches over and pulls Bob out then cradles him.

GIR: And that's how you get a baby out of a pipe!

Zim: Um, GIR. He's not a baby. But that's pretty impressive, where did you learn that?

GIR: TV!

Zim: Ooh...

Zim snatches Bob by his chest and he squeals in fear.

Zim: Okay soldier, I'm willing to give you a warning. Don't go near my voot cruiser.

Bob: But I don't know anything about being an invader.

Zim: That will be no problem.

Cut to later on at the house. Bob slowly makes his way out of the kitchen. He has a table on his head and Zim is riding on top of it.

Zim: Woo! Faster! FASTER!

Bob: Great... now I have to serve a moron...

Zim: Faster my minion!

Bob stops then pants and groans.

Zim: Eh? Why'd you stop?

Bob: Too heavy... spine... going to snap...

GIR: WEEE!

GIR jumped on one side of the table. Bob loses balance and falls over, groaning. Everybody else falls.

Zim: GIR!

Bob rips the table off and makes a run for it.

Zim: Eh... I wonder where he's going.

GIR: Let's play the Act like a Mad Killer game! (pokes Zim's shoulder) You're the killer!

GIR runs away giggling.

Zim: Alright...

Zim looks over to see Bob looking around in the kitchen for a place to hide. Zim walks towards him and Bob notices and runs.

Zim: Come back here! So I can kill yooou!

Bob: Wha- Nooo! Not me!

Bob runs into the toilet. Zim's mad and spooky cackling is heard. He finally reaches the lab and quickly runs, looking back. GIR appears right in front of him and Bob screams as he notices.

GIR: Shh! You don't want him to find you.

Bob: That's why I'm trying to get out of here!

Bob runs passed him, GIR soon follows and runs right next to him.

GIR: I'm gonna hide behind a cow. Where are you gonna hide?

Bob: Um... the repair bay was it?

GIR stops and puts his hand ontop of Bob and forcefully turns him around.

GIR: That's that way!

Bob: Oh thanks.

Bob starts running the opposite direction. GIR runs off to find his hiding place.

Cut to Bob at the repair bay. The cruiser is currently in repair.

Bob: He should have a spare ship somewhere. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I took this one for awhile.

Bob walks over to the ship under repair. He gets inside and the robot arms repairing it back away and go up into the ceiling. He presses a few buttons and the crusier starts up.

Zim enters te repair bay.

Zim: I knew it! Bob you get out of my ship right now!

The voot cruiser window shield closes. Zim starts running towards the him. The cruiser levitates up a bit, then completly flies to the right of Zim and crashes into the wall. It then slams into the ceiling, the other wall, ceiling again and finally crash lands in front of Zim. The window opens up. Bob is upside down.

Bob: I think I broke something...

Zim: My cruiser! You fool! I should rip out your eyes and feed them to GIR as punishment!

Zim starts patting his cruiser.

Bob: Ow... my spine... my legs... my head...

Fades to later on. Bob is in a small pod ship, still in pain. The glass top closes. We see he's being launched off in a giant cannon on the roof. A control pad says 'Destination: Irk". It fires into space, sending Bob out there.

GIR: I'm gonna miss funny head...

Zim: Eh... he was a weirdo.

The End